Ozark Event: Crescent Classic Ferrari Tour

If I could take this blog on the road and charge admission, it would go like this: invite dozens of Ferraris and other sports cars to the most picturesque town in the Ozarks, then spend days devouring local roads. Don't hold your breath for Ozarkbahnfest, though. The annual Crescent Classic Ferrari Tour in Eureka Springs had the idea way before me, and has quietly become one of the premier performance car meets in America.



The attendees make their headquarters at the Victorian-styled, spooktacular Crescent Hotel of 1886 vintage. From there, the prancing horse tifosi and friends day trip on brisk guided rallies throughout the spiderweb of roads outside Eureka Springs.



If you fear a meeting of men with boater hats, imported navy blazers, and "daughters," don't worry. To keep the focus on driving, the Crescent Classic organizers have a strict dress code: jeans only. The cars are the stars of the weekend.



Exotics too often become static displays, imprisoned in climate-controlled garages. While Ferraris are objects of status and privilege, they are meant to be driven. The violent, beautiful sound is worth the exposure alone. Even this Shell gasoline advert is content to watch and listen.

[Your author's favorite television commercial of all time]

New or old, there is no such thing as a Ferrari that looks, goes, or sounds badly, so it's exciting to bring them out in numbers. After the group returns to the Crescent for the evening, it's an assuring sight to see an ocean of Ferrari Red smeared with bugs and brake dust. Sure, each is hand-washed nightly courtesy of the event sponsors, but there's a degree of respect in challenging the usual hazards of the open road. Last year an unlucky 360 Modena owner had a encountred a deer, vermin of the Ozarks. You can figure the rest of the drive was pretty fun, though.



The 2009 Crescent Classic takes place Thursday, September 10, through Sunday, September 13th. If you can respect a policy of look, but don't touch, no one minds terribly if you ogle the machinery up close in the hotel parking lot. Another chance to see the cars in person is during the parade and show in downtown Eureka Springs, usually on Saturday. The more modern and reliable Italians like the 328, 355, and 360 are best represented, but there's no telling what will show up. An Alfa Romeo Giulia Sprint or Lamborghini is pretty good company.



If you want to see it yourself, the best part is that fine Ozark drives like Highway 62 or 23 are unavoidable. Event organizer Chris Parr said, "I grew up on these roads and have always felt like this area of Arkansas had some of the best roads in North America."



The Crescent Classic Ferrari Tour is a great excuse to grab your friends and take the day off. If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

Driven: Oklahoma 259

Summer vacation is over, and the second semester of Ozarkbahn is here. Dress in layers and bring a sack lunch, because we're starting off with a field trip to the Ouachita Mountains of Oklahoma.

[Highway 259 on Google Maps]

Highway 59 was built to span America from Mexico to Canada, and a previous episode explored an action-packed stretch in Southwest Missouri. US 59 is roughly 1,500 miles long in all, and the final connection built was a steep jaunt through LeFlore County named Oklahoma 259.

In a "Golden Spike" ceremony of sorts, President John F. Kennedy dedicated the highway's opening in October 1961 at Big Cedar, Oklahoma. New Frontier, indeed. Even backwoods Oklahoma was within missile range of Jack's policy of interstellar progress.


Big Cedar, OK, and the Three Sticks monument

Lucky us, because the road's switchback climb up Kiamichi Mountain from Big Cedar is one of the most entertaining ribbons of pavement in the country. At the top, the Three Sticks scenic overlook commemorates the state politicians who helped build the road with a monument symbolizing land, wood, and water. The highway never spurred the intended commerce to unlock those resources, but a drive like this is a fine legacy as far as I'm concerned.



If nothing else, the area does a thriving business in one thing: bigfoot sightings. The area around Big Cedar has seen its share of Sasquatch reports.

[Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy - LeFlore County]



Make no mistake: this is Sasquatch country. Locals hold the Honobia Bigfoot Festival every year in the woods about 30 miles away from Big Cedar. It's part family carnival, part Very Serious seminar with panels of professors and bigfoot experts. There's even a genuine bigfoot hunt. If you spot something hairy, bipedal, and barefoot, grab your camera. It may not be a local, but a marvel of science!

[2009 Honobia Bigfoot Festival]

Science also astounds on the Indian Nations Trail at Hochatown State Park a few miles South on 259. The Ouachitas are an ancient mountain range worn to blunted hills, leaving a sparkling plethora of geological curiousities not found on the Ozark Plateau. The forest is littered with quartz, and visitors are welcome to pocket a grip of crystals for personal use. In one short hike, your chakra can be completely realigned.



The whole drive down Oklahoma 259 is great for harmonizing your bio-energies. It's a lightly populated area with minimal traffic and human encroachment, a rare pleasure given the attraction. The driving challenges wither in places, but there's constant rolling greenery to satisfy your metaphysical side.



The Ouachitas slide into the Red River flatlands near Broken Bow, where the End of Trail Motel marks an appropriate terminus. The mid-century neon sign is super cool, a real roadside treasure. History value? The name and figure are based on a 1915 James Earle Fraser sculpture, End of the Trail, capturing the sorrow of dislocated Native American culture. On the upshot, air conditioning and free HBO!


Oklahoma 259: for Americans of distinction

The tattoo on my chest reads "Ozark 4 Life," but this week I proudly boast, "Ich bin ein Ouachitabahner."

Traffic: I could spend Thirteen Days here
Driving challenge: mild to superb
Purty mouth: watch out for anyone named Harry
Ouachitabahn rating: Ask not what your Ozarkbahn can do for you, but what you can do for your Ozarkbahn

Stopover: Neosho, MO

After the bustle of Main Street America fled to suburban strip malls and big-box retailers, some towns fought back. One of the best downtown revivals in the Ozarks is being led by Neosho, Missouri.

[Neosho, MO, on Google Maps]



I stumbled through historic Neosho by accident, driving in my usual pattern of navigation by impulse, rather than by GPS. Sometimes wandering Ozarkland just means discovering chicken houses you haven't seen before. This time, it was a genuine reward and surprise, a bit of a treasure.



Neosho has a welcome Ozark vibe from native stone used heavily throughout the downtown area and local neighborhoods. Nearby hills and limestone springs provide a pleasant backdrop, as well. Circling city blocks on foot, I spotted buildings in the style of Victorian, Art Deco, International, cottage, mid-century kitsch, and Spanish design. Neosho packs a lot of scenery and architectural details in a relatively short walk.



The centerpiece of downtown is the Newton County Courthouse, a Depression-era Works Progress Administration project. It's fantastically Art Deco, with ornate scales of justice over entryways and "Justice is Truth in Action" carved into the stonework. The recently renovated "Civic" is also a beautifully restored Deco landmark.



The most inspiring aspect of the "Flowerbox City" is that there is a concerned effort to maintain the charm of its downtown district through private investment and public assistance. Despite the town's small size and likely economic woes, plenty of attention has been paid to the particulars. Public building upkeep, landscaping, streetlights, and sidewalks show civic pride in abundance.



What do you finding rusting in the weeds of most small towns? Tractors and old pick'em up trucks? Try a Volvo PV544. Oh, and that's a Corvette Stingray in the shop behind it. I had a Gearhead moment.



If discovered, Neosho would have the multifarious structure and charm to rival downtown efforts in Eureka Springs and Fayetteville, Arkansas. Let's hope it gets found out.

Craigslist Update: Ozark Rolling Malaise

In the late 1970s, gas lines were too long and shorts were too short. In the midst of Jimmy Carter's woeful "national malaise," cars took a turn for the crappy. They were generally slow, heavy lumps with engines choked by slapdash emissions systems. Worse, the most popular color was brown. Metallic brown.



Craigslist reveals the Ozarks are a polyester fountain of solid gold hits from this period, and we need to take a look. Slick back your eyebrows, and let's dive bell-bottoms-first into these beautiful beasts.

First off, there's something momentous about a 1970s Cadillac. They're gigantic, and ride as smoothly as a water bed (yet handle corners worse than a water bed). A time capsule of period style and extravagance, Caddys were the choice of every well-heeled professional, from oil tycoons to pimps. Even Ozark trucking magnate J.B. Hunt had one, and it was for sale in Bentonville recently. What can brown do for you?



"Now this was a superior machine. Ten grand worth of gimmicks and high-priced special effects. The rear windows lit up with a touch like frogs in a dynamite pond. The dashboard was full of esoteric lights and dials and meters that I would never understand." - Raoul Duke, driving a Cadillac in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


This 1979 Trans-Am is the curl in your mullet, the flavor in your flavor-saver. Glorious light blue leather, white snowflake wheels, and a mandatory blue firechicken on the hood. Kicker? This one from Rogers is much like the one owned by Vice President Joe Biden.




The seventies don't end there, baby. Here's a disco-fresh 1977 Corvette in Rogers with bitchin' custom paint and white leather interior. I have to credit for it being a legitimate, poser-proof four-speed (not an automatic), but I'm still seeing Mark Hamill in Corvette Summer here. A bare-chested gold medallion on wheels.




An icon of the late seventies and early eighties was the Checker Marathon. On the sitcom Taxi, the Marathon was as much as star as Andy Kaufman or Danny DeVito. The Checker Motor Company built almost nothing but taxis, and they were a fixture of urban movie sets.



While the taxicab version was common, the stretched Checker Aerobus was super-rare, and guess where you can find a pristine sedan-back eight-door? Rogers, Arkansas. Wow.


Lastly, this 1984 Jaguar XJ6, the youngest in the group. The Series III Jag XJ was born in the late 1970s, a time when Britain spent most of its time on strike. This meant the car's electrics and rust protection worked about as much as the people who assembled it. Don't look for many left on the road.


However, any living, breathing Jaguar of this vintage is a special thing, as only a labour of love could keep one running. Sometimes you get real devotion, and a 5.7L LS1 from a 2001 Corvette appears under the bonnet, as with this one in Bentonville. Take a stately car that's gone sixes and sevens, nick a stonking great Yank V8, and Bob's your uncle.

Smashing.

The Rustic Ozarks

If steel authored the motoring age, rust will be its postscript. All roadside history not razed by the flux of progress will eventually succumb to the elements. The trappings of driving culture and the vehicles that took us there are vulnerable to decay, and they merit exploration before they're gone.


A license plate privacy fence at a junkyard on the Arkansas-Missouri border on Highway 59.


An Ozark vista West of Jasper on Arkansas 74.


The carcass of a long-dead vehicle at Hobbs State Park. Some variety of pre-war truck?


A long-unheeded prohibition on fishing and hunting from the Board of Health at Lake Atalanta.


A little rust, a few loose nails. The century-old Powell Bridge looks sound to me.


What are you worrying about? This place seems legit. The Hillbilly Cabin, South of Huntsville on Arkansas 23.


Decommissioned Conoco fuel pumps in Anderson, MO.

Are your tetanus shots up to date?