Best of Craigslist 2009

I don't know how or why, but the Ozarkbahn is now a year-old institution. Perhaps it is the inspiring power of salted possum meats that marshals it on. Maybe the rusted treasures found at the bottom of every holler pique the imagination. Whatever the spark, the key word is "driven." Every Ozark destination entails a journey, and every twisty path demands an appropriate set of wheels. As with 2008, we end 2009 splashing in the area Craigslist's geiser of fascination.

Advert I Most Want to Reach Into the Computer and Slap
Back in the late 80s, a Nissan magazine ad pictured a Hardbody pickup among a field of horses, asking readers to guess how much horsepower was in the photo. Corny, but it got the message across. Sometimes analogies go a little far, and you want to, well, shoot them in the leg and send them to the glue factory. This Nissan Maxima listing is the Craigslist equivalent of saddle sores.



Runner Up: Ugh. Audubon? Autobahn?




The Pinto of Honor
Galloping with the horse theme here with the mighty Pinto. Some of my earliest tortured memories of motoring involve riding in a faux-wood-panelled Mercury Bobcat wagon, the hot-and-heavy cousin of the Ford Pinto. I have a little Stockholm Syndrome for Pintos and Bobcats. Which example is the best the Ozarks' could muster in 2009? The one that dreams of becoming this Mickey Mouse nightmare. Some assembly required. Actually, ALL assembly is required.



Runner Up: this haggard, non-running heap of dents boldly asks $750. Hey, but everything is green. EVERYTHING IS GREEN.




Put it Where it Doesn't Belong Award
Malaise-era Jaguars weren't any good, but in a stunning offering to sleeperdom, someone in the Ozarks fixed everything with a Corvette V8. The GM LS1 swap is such a common upgrade that it's a gearhead running joke. Check engine light on? Time for a LS1 swap. Jaguar break down? Better swap in a LS1.




Runner Up: We've seen plenty of galleries showing plain-wrapper BMWs undergoing Frankenstein M-powered upgrades at considerable expense. This time, an enterprising Ozarkian went with a plebeian small block Chevy. Talk about an affront to roundel nerds who have memorized every BMW engine code and wiring diagram in Barvaria. Excellent work.




Jamie Spears Award for Trans-Am Most Likely to Cause Teen Pregnancy

This Craigslist find was personal, as it sat on a road I traveled daily. I came to admire - lust for - this blue-on-white firechicken with pale leather and matching snowflakes. The exposure time allowed the lunacy of second-gen F-bodies to creep into my web browsing. Just looking, right? That's how dangerous things begin. I mean, after Dazed and Confused, Matthew McConaughey bought a sweet second-gen Z28 to drive in real life. "I get older, they say the same age." Awl raht, awl raht, awl raht.



Runner Up: 1978 Trans-Am. It has the right stuff: white paint, blue tint, cammed out 350, and glorious firechicken decal. However, the seller imagines it worth $25k to $50k with a coat of paint. Such delusional optimism is worth the runner-up spot on its own.




Most Exciting Graphics on the Least Exciting Car
A first-gen Plymouth Neon has the distinction of serving up my most exciting driving moment of 2009. While racing in one belonging to someone else in May, the right-front hub sheared off, leaving the wheel and $250 Hoosier race tire free to bounce down the track. Credit due, they're quick little cars for the dirt prices they demand. Still, Neons are lethally terrible automobiles only an arsonist's flame job can improve. When I saw this hot (rod) mess listed on the Springfield, MO, Craigslist, I knew it was the winner.



Runner Up: a great many mid-1970s Ford Torinos have been converted to the Striped Tomoto driven by detectives Starsky and Hutch. It tends to work best when you start with a shiny red Torino GT and mag wheels, then add your stripes and teardrop perp light. It's not so hairy-chested When you take your great aunt's Torino "Elite" model and brush it red without swapping the nursing home hubcaps. Bonus: ellipsis mania!




Grand Prize
When the Zombie infection rages and society crumbles, you will need one thing: a six-wheel-drive military-surplus M35A2 "Deuce and a Half."

[Wikipedia: M35 2.5-ton Cargo Truck]


An entire family piled out of this beast for an outing at Alum Cove State Park.

They look mean, cost relatively little, and are rugged enough to roam every inch of the Ozarks. Some versions even came with a flex-fuel engine that would run on anything combustible you could pour in the fuel tank. Maybe even braaaaaaains. The versatile M35A2 appeals to all stripes of hardy Ozarkians, including survivalists, off-roaders, rural fire departments, militias, the A-Team, and local rap stars. I have seen half a dozen of them over the last few months. It turns out there's even an active club for trucks like these in Arkansas.

[Arkansas Military Vehicle Travelers]

They're hard to miss, but I didn't take much notice of these M35 behemoths until I eyeballed this one in Diamond, MO. A Craigslist search revealed the owner has had a number of these for sale.



In fact, there are a whole lot of these pop up if you're looking. And you should be, for when the zombies attack. I'll be in my bunker until Y2K10.

Star of the Ozarkian Road

When road trips were still an intensely human and mechanical experience, service stations were an essential part of the motoring landscape. Stations cultivated an image of confidence, a flair, to attract a road-ready public. The rock stars of modern architecture - Frank Lloyd Wright, Mies van der Rohe, Norman Foster, Albert Frey, and others - all tried their hand at penning humble gas stations.

[Top 15 Mid-century Modern Stations @ Oobject]



Conscious of my grandfather's career with Esso Oil, I find a quick and visible charm in service station architecture. In examples throughout the Ozarks, one can still see the span of history as styles evolved.


"House" style station on Arkansas 7 in Jasper, bungalow on Missouri 59 in McDonald County

Stations first modeled themselves after cottages and bungalows that mimicked the quaint atmosphere of early suburbia.


Southwestern flavor near downtown Neosho, MO

The petroleum industry has been a titan of commerce for over a century, and corporate branding efforts grew with America's increasing post-war mobility. One pattern was a Southwestern revival, invoking the freewheeling romance of Westward expansion.


Plate glass and sharp angles in Rogers, AR, and Carthage, MO

Eventually, modernism fostered buildings in blunt contrast to their surroundings, rather than cottages in native form. Sharp, steeply-raked angles of glass and steel marked the peak - literally and figuratively - of service station architecture.


Straight edges in Powell, MO, Neosho, MO, and Harrison, AR

Ultimately, cars became less maintenance-intensive and more economical, and gas stations changed their profit focus from the automobile to the consumer. Today stations are little more than miniature grocery stores. Razor-thin margins on fuel sales leave little in the way of extravagances or enthusiastic help. A filthy squeegee well on the side of a trash can, watery pay air compressor, and self-serve fuel pump are all that remain. Modern convenience stores are rarely eye-catching, and contribute little to the attraction or passion of contemporary automotive travel.


Repainted Phillips station in Noel, MO

The shuffle of time has left most of these vintage structures to the elements, so they must be enjoyed while they stand. Some of the more iconic structures, like the Phillips 66 cottages, have been fortunate enough to attract historic preservation. A few structures live on as something even more.



One great example is Laurel Kane's D-X Station on Route 66 in Afton, Oklahoma, just a shout from the Western edge of the Ozarks. She revived the classic station and filled it with a trove of Route-66-a-bilia, including a collection of Packards and other timeless American iron. Laurel maintains a blog to put faces to the travelers and assorted, ahem, characters who pass through the station from points all over the world. Worth a read:

[Ramblings of a Route 66 Business Owner]



Like old service stations, Route 66 encapsulates my fascination with car culture, the open road, and uniting sense of American mobility. The Mother Road just glances the Northern edge of Ozarks, an area that has revealed a surprising wealth of unique drives and discoveries on its own. More than I could ever find the time to write about, even. Take that to a macro view, and you have the eight-state epic that is Route 66. Literature, television, and a litany of song covers have fostered an international allure and push to embrace motoring yore. Laurel's enterprising preservation of a piece of Route 66 history could be well applied to the less traveled corners of the Ozarks.

So put a tiger in your tank and check out these classic service stations.

Driven: Arkansas 74

The truth hit like an exploding moonshine still. The crown of the Ozarks - and therefore best place in the world by necessary and biased association - may be Newton County, Arkansas.

Wipe up your computer screen and stay with me. This craggy square of forest-capped limestone, home to less than 9,000, is core Ozarkbahn. The county corrals some of the most remote and rough-hewn terrain in the Ozarks, which incubated an amusingly vibrant backwoods culture. The racier chapters of Newtonian history include illicit whiskey production, premier marijuana agronomy, hippie communes, and the only hillbilly theme park in the world. The native earthiness still beckons droves of outdoor fans to trails and rivers. Most importantly, this capsule of the spartan, beautiful, and unique is crisscrossed by a stunning circuit of highways.

[Arkansas 74 on Google Maps]

We already know Arkansas 21 and Arkansas 123. Another great route from the Newton County playlist is Highway 74 from Ponca to Mount Judea.




This 28-mile drive is neatly divided in the middle by the county seat, Jasper. Starting at its Western end, AR 74 leaves Highway 43 and ascends from Boxley Valley into a mile-long hill climb loaded with narrow hairpins. This section alone is entertaining enough to enjoy until your brakes melt, but rest of the jaunt offers plenty of curves and Kodak vistas.



Lost Valley, Steel Creek, the Ponca Wilderness, and the Upper Buffalo River are among the Ozark's most popular destinations for camping, hiking, canoeing, and gratuitous shutterbuggery. Driving enthusiasts be warned: 74 carries a lot of traffic over from Scenic 7 at Jasper, and few drivers have the skill, vehicle, or inclination to traverse the road in anything but a dull plod. Jasper is also a favorite biker stop, so the potential to get slowed up is even worse during hospitable tourist weather. Want one more hazard? There are hundreds of elk in the area, and they're not very automobile-compatible. Dodge the obstacles, and 74 is a blast.



A final set of hairpins bring 74 into Jasper, where the road joins Highway 7 to cross Indian Creek, then twists East out of town. Thanks to lighter traffic, the second half of this drive has a different complexion. While the elevation changes aren't as extreme, the road maintains a steady roster of curves and scenery. Highway 74 eventually combines with Arkansas 123 near Hasty, and tracks four miles South along the bluffs by Big Creek to Mount Judea. While 74 continues East for several miles from there, this is where you part ways to continue South on 123, the best road in Arkansas.



Traffic: can pick up significantly during tourist season
Driving challenge: from rolling scenery to "hope the guardrail stops you"
Purty mouth: remember, the whole route is in Newton County
Ozarkbahn rating: a perennial favorite

Fall and the Cushman Collection

57 years ago, one of America's most prolific amateur photographers added an Autumn day in the Ozarks to his collection. The shots belonged to Charles W. Cushman, an Indiana University alum who willed over 14,000 Kodachrome slides to his alma matter upon his passing in 1972. It's a staggering body of color photography from the pre-digital era, and the school's Digital Library Program has worked to bring fingertip access to these works. With Fall colors at full-tilt, I thought it would be appropriate to share a few.

[Charles W. Cushman Photograph Collection]
Indiana University Archives


Adair County, OK


Oklahoma 62 near Muskogee

His focus was on road trips made in the United States and worldwide from the 1930s through the 1960s. For fans of mid-century motoring culture and roadside exploration like myself, and the Cushman Collection is a treasure. Even the Ozarks made it into his travels. Through the lens of heavily saturated Kodachrome color, he photographed his October 1952 drive across Oklahoma Highway 62, through Arkansas, and up to Springfield, Missouri, and beyond.


In front of Old Main at the University of Arkansas


Fiery foliage on US 62 near Eureka Springs, AR

Cushman photographed just about pictures of everything, not just the postcard vistas and urban scenes, but all the sights that comprised motoring America. Indiana History professor Eric Sandweiss is a study of Cushman, and penned an excellent overview of his work. The pictures are impressive in both breadth and quantity, forming a comprehensive documentary of American life and travel in the era before the Interstate highway system.


Downtown Eureka Springs


White River near Eureka Springs

If you're not careful, the site will consume an hour or two of your time. A less risky option might be to browse a slide show of selected photos put together by Indiana University.


Horsing around in Harrison, AR


Old Chevy, new mule in Harrison

Through Cushman's slides, we can see moments captured from the constant flux in human and natural landscapes. The takeaway is that a wealth of sights and experiences are ripe for discovery if you're willing to find them. I've quickly realized the Ozarks alone can afford a lifetime of experiences, and that I have a lot of miles to go.